One of our readers, Emily, recently shared a letter with us about a restaurant visit that brought up important questions about tipping practices, customer service, and handling conflicts.
Here’s her detailed story:
Last night, I (32F) went to a fancy restaurant with my partner (32M) to celebrate his recent promotion. The evening was perfect until the end, when the server’s behavior completely ruined the experience.
When the bill arrived, I added a $10 tip to the $85 check. As the server picked up the payment, she scoffed and loudly remarked, “Ten dollars? This isn’t the 1950s, you know.”
I was shocked. Her tone was incredibly rude. My partner looked at her in disbelief.
“Excuse me?” I responded, feeling instantly annoyed. “I believe $10 on an $85 bill is quite fair.”
The server rolled her eyes dramatically. “The standard tip is 20% these days, cheapskate. Don’t you know how to calculate that?”
I couldn’t believe her arrogant attitude. The $10 was over 11%, which is a reasonable tip by any standard. Her entitlement was infuriating.
“You know what,” I snapped, losing my patience. “With such a nasty attitude, you don’t deserve a tip at all!”
I quickly reached over and took back the $10 bill. The server’s jaw dropped, and she started hurling insults at me, causing a scene. Other diners turned to stare at the commotion. My partner was embarrassed.
Eventually, the manager had to intervene and remove the out-of-control server, who was still shouting at me. We ended up leaving without tipping.
Emily continued:
“I admit I might have overreacted, but her smug and condescending behavior absolutely enraged me. After treating a customer so disrespectfully, she didn’t deserve any extra compensation. However, I’ve been receiving mixed opinions on whether I should have just let it go instead of causing a scene. What are your thoughts?”
Emily’s experience raises several important questions about tipping, customer service, and how to handle conflicts in public settings. What do you think?
Was Emily right to take back the tip, or should she have handled the situation differently?
30 thoughts on “Took My Tip Back After the Waiter’s Rude Behavior”
She was definitely right. If that had happened to my husband and me, we would have taken it back too. And she should have been fired too.
IMHO, 11% is not a decent tip on an $85 check. Personally I would have left a $20+ unless service was awful, then I’d have left $16. I’ve done that job & it’s a tough one, no matter what people think.
Well excuse me they know when taking that kind of job pays the customers shouldn’t have to pay there paychecks too
The server should have been grateful for any tip. 10.00 was more then she came to work with. Sounds to me she should eat some humble pie! I would have taken the tip back too!
Sorry Emily, 10.00 is not a good tip on 85.00..
15 % is….12.75
20 % is…17.00
Their wage is very low and make their money on tips…
I would have either walked out or given her another few dollars…but that’s me…
I live in Las Vegas where a majority work for tips..I am very lucky, I never did but alot if my relatives and friends did…
It’s not the customers job to up their pay grade! I also worked with people and never received a tip! Expecting tips is not mandatory or shouldn’t be! Many of the people that only can even visit a restaurant the odd time should not have to tip a expected 20%. This waitress should have been fired!!!!
What exactly was she paying for service or abuse? Never heard of such a thing. I am English and we would not be arrogant enough to take tips for granted!!!!!!!!
Would you work for $2.75 an hour?
No but when they apply and take the job they know what kind of money they will be making
Yes, they know what kind of money the job pays.But, like it or not, in the USA tips are customarily part of a servers usual pay and they count on that. Most servers will strive to give excellent service because they know their tips depend on it. It has to be disappointing to work hard to give good service only to be rewarded with an insultingly small tip. The server probably should have accepted the small tip gracefully but we don’t know what the circumstances of her life were. Maybe she was worrying about how to pay her rent and the frustration bubbled over. I would have given her a better tip. Perhaps it’s the system that needs changing. Until then leave a decent tip, and if you can’t afford to leave a good server a decent tip, eat at MacDonalds.
The server should have just taken the tip and keep her mouth shut. I know servers customer service has really gone down hill. They take your order, bring you your food and beverage and then your bill. But if the customer was insulted she or he should have went to the manager. They were both in the wrong.
The customer was NOT in the wrong whatsoever! Intitled people do not deserve a tip!!!! You tip for good service and if you can afford it!!!
If you can afford dinner out, then it should take into account a proper tip. Twenty percent is the appropriate tip if the service was good. But to react like the server did aloud was inappropriate. She should, at bare minimum, be talked to about her conduct.
As a former server you did the right thing
I agree with you. Bad behavior should not be rewarded.
Having been someone who has done that type of work I would have done exactly what she did. Take the tip back. Tipping is a gratuity, not part of the bill. I have been known to tip well or not at all….depending on service and attitude.
If you can afford a 85$ bill, I feel a 20 percent tip would have been a fair tip Her being rude was inexcusable. Having said that, many of the waitresses/waiters rely on their tips as their wages are so low
Why do the public have to leave a tip,? so the owner should be paying regular wages, sorry every where you go you have to tip,, Also if you pay by credit card,we have to pay extra like 3 percent why? This country is in a mess
Then the Rude waitress should have kept her trap closed!!
I am sorry that happened to that couple. I know tips are important to a server or delivery person. However to be so rude was totally uncalled for. I would have taken the tip back just like the lady did. I know when we have food delivered that a tip is not required and our drivers know we can’t afford a lot. I always try to give a few dollars and they smile and say thank you. I say I wish I could do more and they that we do enough just by being friendly or understanding if they run late because we are such great customers
I would have cut it in half….hopefully, lesson learned!! Obviously, not the job for her!!
No Emily was wrong to take the tip back and wrong for how much she tipped! Waiters and waitresses have to pay taxes on 15% of their sales. So the tip should have been a minimum of $12.75! Now if service (not food quality) was lacking then a smaller tip would be in order to send a message; and if service was exceptionally good, then a 20% tip ($17) would be appropriate. The waitress should not have made a scene either way, as tipping is optional and how much can be positively or negatively driven by the behavior and service of the wait staff. But please remember they are taxed by the IRS at a set rate.
So me personally not know when the details I can’t say if you were right or wrong. Definitely in the right to take the tip back with her rude behavior. As I would have done the same thing. However a $10 tip is a little bit low on a $85 bill. For example we ate last night at a Red Robin and the bill was $79 and I left a $20 tip. I started 20%. If I get exceptional service I can go to 25 to 30%. If I get poor or a mediocre service it could drop as low as 10%. If I get absolutely horrible and rude service I won’t leave a tip. Judging from her reaction on the $10 tip I am going out on a limb and saying she probably didn’t provide very good service hence the $10 tip. But regardless of the amount of tip deserving or not she was definitely out of hand and did not deserve a tip at all after that.
I was in the industry for many years and I definitely think she did the right thing..service is not what it use to be..there’s tip jars everywhere even drive thru windows..its insane now a days.
Absolutely! I think after that I wouldn’t want to pay for any of it! And she should lose her job if she seemingly does not know how to interact with customers! !!
Before it elevated to yelling, I would have found the manager and reported the server. And no, there would be no tip. And I would also tell the manager as long as that server was there, that I and everyone I knew, would boycott the restaurant.
Apparently the majority of those commenting have never worked in restaurant service industry. Having to feed a family based on Tips. The 5.25 per hour most servers receive barely covers taxes. Much less food, utilities, rent. Especially with the high cost of living today. Wake up people!!!
I like to know who the hell started this thing about how much you should tip. you dont know how much a person has and if they are able to tip. Why arent the employers paying a decent wage.
I generally leave 20% or better if service was excellent. I don’t look at how fast the food comes as that is beyond the servers control. If our drinks are replenished timely and the server checks back after food has been served to make sure everything is suitable..is what I consider good service. But if food is served and we don’t see the server unless we flag them down, then they will only get 10-15% from me. The service was not mentioned here.
She was definitely right I would’ve taken back the tip and ask to see the manager