In August 2017, Tony Alarcon’s phone rang unexpectedly. Like most parents, he thought it was just another telemarketer. But this time, he answered.
A call from school is always nerve-wracking for a parent. Tony’s heart started racing. Was Demetra okay? Had something gone wrong at school?
The truth, however, was something Tony could never have expected.
It was a typical summer day in Northern California, and the temperature was soaring to a hot 90 degrees. That morning, Tony had dropped off his 13-year-old daughter, Demetra, at Raymond J. Fisher Middle School in Los Gatos, California. She was dressed for the heat in a blue romper. It seemed like the perfect choice for a hot, long day at school, and neither Tony nor Demetra thought twice about it.
But not everyone at the school saw it that way. A teacher thought her outfit was “too distracting” for the boys.
When the teacher told Demetra that her romper was too short, Tony rushed back to the school with some new clothes—jean shorts and a tank top. But when he got there, the administration told him that these clothes were also inappropriate.
Tony was in shock. “I asked Demetra to bend over and touch her toes, right in front of the administrator,” Tony explained to TODAY. “And I said, ‘Nothing is hanging out. There’s nothing inappropriate. I don’t get this dress code rule.’”
Father fights California middle school's dress code for teen daughter https://t.co/qoTOVO7fJ6 pic.twitter.com/V1tUrOWCTO
— CBS News (@CBSNews) September 16, 2017
Still, the school insisted that the outfit was “distracting.” On a blistering 90-degree day, Tony had no choice but to return to his car and bring back a pair of leggings.
Demetra felt embarrassed and humiliated.
“You get pulled out of class in front of everyone…She’s just a kid. She’s just 13. She’s not a sex symbol. She just wants to be comfortable and attend class, and we’re not giving her that chance,” Tony said, his frustration clear.
This wasn’t the first time Demetra had been dress-coded. Just a week earlier, she had been reprimanded for a visible bra strap.
“When I got dress-coded one time last week, they said my bra strap was showing,” Demetra told the San Jose Mercury News. “Lord forbid I might be wearing a bra.”
Tony, a successful investment advisor and a father of two, wasn’t someone who backed down easily. Furious at what he saw as an unfair policy that targeted girls, he decided to take action. He shared his frustrations on social media, and soon, support poured in from parents across the country who agreed with him, calling the school’s dress code outdated and sexist.
“Demetra isn’t alone. Just sit in Fisher’s parking lot and you’ll see that,” Tony said. “I’ve heard from multiple girls that they just want to be comfortable, but they feel like they’re being pushed into wearing leggings in 100-degree heat.”
Tony firmly believed that parents, not schools, should decide whether their children’s clothes are appropriate. He also worried about the emotional impact on young girls who were being told that their clothes were a “distraction” to boys.
The situation quickly caught the attention of the media. Major news outlets began covering Tony’s fight to change the dress code. Though the school refused to comment on camera, they did release a statement:
“The Los Gatos Union School District believes that appropriate dress and grooming contribute to a productive learning environment,” Abbati said in a statement to TODAY. “Students are expected to wear clothes that reflect the collective core values of our learning community.”
Tony’s stand didn’t go unnoticed. Thanks to his efforts, the Los Gatos Union School District began to reevaluate its dress code, making sure it would be fairer and less strict for all students.
Lisa Fraser, the school’s principal, explained that the school’s “Fashion Faux Pas” guidelines applied to both girls and boys. Among the banned items were hats or hoods indoors, visible underwear, inappropriate words or logos, and shorts with less than 4-inch inseams.
“There has always been a dress code,” Fraser told the newspaper. “These are standards for reasonable decorum. I do reserve the right to set guidelines for the school, but I want to lead with the pulse of the community and reflect the community’s core values.”
In the end, Tony Alarcon’s persistence sparked an important conversation about how school dress codes affect young girls. He proved that one parent’s voice can truly make a difference.
What do you think about the school’s dress code? Have you or your children experienced something similar? Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
