The Wedding Gift and Family Drama
My husband and I were excited to celebrate our granddaughter Eloise’s wedding, so we bought her a special gift from her registry. It was an air fryer—something we knew she wanted! But when Eloise got it, she called us, furious and accusing us of being cheap! “You just don’t love me enough to show it!” she yelled.
“You know how much pressure I’m under with the wedding. And then, this? It’s like you don’t even care!” Then she hung up on us.
We were shocked. How could she think we didn’t care? I’m in my 70s, and I’m a proud grandmother of five wonderful grandkids—three girls and two boys. I love them all and always show up for them, whether it’s for celebrations or tough times. They know they can count on me.
Eloise had gotten married last October, and my husband and I wanted to be supportive. After her angry call, we decided to buy her a nice china set to make up for the air fryer. But we felt uneasy about giving her the $40,000 cash gift we usually offer our grandkids, especially after her harsh words. We believed she hadn’t earned it.
Then, last week, things took another turn. Eloise spoke with her brother and discovered we had been truthful about the cash gifts. After confirming with her cousins, she called us again, accusing us of discrimination. “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married. Why didn’t I get anything?” she demanded.
We stood our ground and explained, “We felt after your reaction to the wedding gift, it wasn’t right to go ahead and gift you the money.” Eloise pleaded, trying to change our minds. “So, you’re punishing me? Is that it? Because I was upset about an air fryer?”
I was frustrated that she didn’t see what she had done wrong. “It wasn’t about the air fryer, Eloise. It was how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we expected or can support,” I told her firmly.
Eloise’s voice cracked as she begged, “But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it.” I felt she needed to apologize for her words instead of justifying her behavior. I responded, “We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things.”
Desperate, Eloise added, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.” She threatened to boycott Christmas and accused us of cutting her off, but we didn’t give in.
In the end, I told her, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Now, Eloise has gone through with her threat and is boycotting Christmas. Her mother, our daughter-in-law, is siding with her and calling us unreasonable. But we believe that after all we’ve done for Eloise—the air fryer gift and paying for her college—the reaction she had was too extreme.
For context, her parents covered her graduate school and half of her wedding, and she and her husband are financially comfortable and don’t desperately need our money.
We’re not upset with our other grandkids for sharing the news about the cash gift since Eloise is among the family members allowed to know. We sent the air fryer early because we live far away, and we always send gifts ahead of time. The wedding gift is separate from the cash, which we hoped she would use for something important, like buying a home.
Even after all that’s happened, my husband and I still feel our decision was the right one. We believe in love and respect in our family, and we hoped this would be a lesson for Eloise. The holidays might feel quieter this year without her family around, but we remain hopeful for healing and understanding in the future. Our door and hearts will always be open to Eloise when she’s ready to make amends.
What do you think about this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments!
