I was completely shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule titled “Help Me Become a Better Wife.” Instead of flipping out, I decided to roll with it, knowing Jake was about to get a big lesson on what marriage is really about.
In our relationship, I’ve always been the calm one, while Jake tends to get obsessed with new hobbies or the latest YouTube video promising life-changing hacks. Everything was fine until Jake met Steve.
Steve was the kind of guy who thought that being loud meant being right. He’d bulldoze over anyone who disagreed and loved giving relationship advice, even though he was always single. To my surprise, Jake was fascinated by Steve’s confidence and started echoing his toxic ideas.
At first, I wasn’t too worried. But soon, Jake’s comments started to sting. “Steve says marriages work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look their best for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I tried to brush it off with a sarcastic comment, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d roll his eyes if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, or sigh when I didn’t get to the laundry because, well, I have a full-time job.
Then one night, Jake sat me down with “The List.”
With a tone I’d never heard before, he slid a piece of paper across the table. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement,” he said, clueless about the trouble he was stirring.
I glanced at the paper: “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” It was a detailed schedule outlining my every move, all based on Steve’s misguided ideas of what a wife “should” do.
According to the list, I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. to cook Jake a gourmet breakfast, hit the gym, clean, do laundry, and cook dinner every night—all before or after working a full-time job. It was sexist, insulting, and utterly ridiculous. But instead of exploding, I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’ll start tomorrow.”
He looked relieved, not realizing what was coming next.
The next morning, I sat down at my laptop and created my own list: “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” I copied everything from his schedule but made a few adjustments. A personal trainer to stay in shape? That’ll be $1,200. Want me to cook like a professional chef? Our grocery bill just jumped to $700 a month, and Jake might need a cooking class, too.
Then came the kicker. If I was going to dedicate myself to being a “perfect wife,” I’d need to quit my job. So, I added my annual salary to the list: “$75,000 to replace Lisa’s income since she’ll now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
I could barely contain my laughter as I imagined Jake’s reaction. The final touch? A $50,000 expense to build him a separate “man cave” so his friends wouldn’t interrupt my new, perfectly organized life.
That evening, Jake came home in a good mood—until he saw the list.
“What’s this?” he asked, looking puzzled.
“Oh, just a little guide I made for you,” I said with a sweet smile, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
As he read through the first few lines, his grin faded. The numbers, the demands, and the sheer absurdity of it all hit him hard. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? And… wait, you’re quitting your job?”
I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? You wanted structure, right?”
The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. His smugness vanished, replaced by panic. “I… I didn’t mean for it to be like this. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see how ridiculous it is.”
I nodded. “Exactly. Marriage isn’t about one person being ‘better’ than the other. It’s about mutual respect. If you ever try to ‘improve’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Jake’s face softened, and he sighed deeply. “I’m sorry, Lisa. I got carried away. You’re right—Steve’s advice was toxic.”
We tore up both lists together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were on the same team again. This whole experience reminded us that a strong marriage isn’t about being perfect; it’s about growing together and respecting each other.