When Debbi met Steve in 2011, she thought she had found the love of her life. But little did she know, her extreme jealousy and her need to control every aspect of their relationship would shock everyone around them.
Jealousy is often just a passing feeling in relationships, but for some, it can become a dangerous obsession. For Debbi, it spiraled into a compulsion that would affect not just her but her relationship with Steve in ways that no one could have predicted.
Debbi and Steve Wood had been together since they met on Facebook through a mutual friend in 2011. After weeks of chatting online, Debbi traveled to London for their first date. “I knew we were meant to be a couple when we shared our first kiss under London Bridge,” Debbi recalled.
“I didn’t mean to fall in love again after my last relationship, but Steve stole my heart.” Their connection was instant, and their relationship quickly became serious, with plans to live together and eventually marry.
Though they didn’t always see eye to eye, Debbi knew Steve was the one for her. “Well, when you’ve got a good man, you’re not going to let him go, are you?” she said in an interview with ITV’s “This Morning.”
But something darker began to creep into their relationship—Debbi’s jealousy. Diagnosed with Othello Syndrome, a mental health condition that makes someone believe their partner is being unfaithful without any evidence, Debbi’s jealousy soon took over her life and their relationship.
It wasn’t always this intense. At first, Debbi was “your average jealous female,” but after being cheated on by a past abusive partner, her fears grew out of control. She started demanding that Steve take lie detector tests every time she didn’t trust him.
“I get so worried that he’s been eyeing up the shop assistant that I just have to know the truth,” she explained, remembering how she would even test him after short trips, like when he went to buy milk.
Steve was understanding, or at least he tried to be. On “This Morning,” he admitted that they still use the lie detector tests, but much less often now. “We do it maybe once in a blue moon,” he said, reassuring the hosts that it wasn’t as frequent as it had been before.
Despite this, Debbi’s paranoia continued to affect their everyday lives. Steve’s hobbies, such as watching football and racing, were scrutinized by Debbi, who even made sure he wasn’t looking at women in the audience.
Her jealousy wasn’t limited to just those things. Sometimes, Debbi banned Steve from watching television altogether. “All women have an inner beauty, but for a man, it goes beyond that… lusting after a woman mentally, as opposed to just admiring that person’s beauty,” Debbi explained, sharing her concerns.
This intense fear and need for control led her to put child-proof filters on his phone and laptop to prevent him from seeing anything she deemed inappropriate.
Things only worsened when they moved in together. Debbi’s suspicions became so strong that even a simple outing could trigger her need for reassurance. She vividly remembered a time when Steve convinced her to visit their local shop after not going out for eight months.
When they returned, Debbi insisted on using a lie detector app to test Steve’s loyalty. She asked him if he had noticed any women in the shop, and he answered honestly, “Can’t say as I did. No.”
But when Debbi asked if he found Mel B attractive, Steve’s negative answer was flagged as a lie by the app. Debbi immediately demanded he retake the test. “The app’s at least 60% accurate,” she explained. “I just need to know if he’s telling the truth.”
Debbi didn’t just have Othello Syndrome; she also struggled with bipolar disorder and body dysmorphic disorder, which complicated her mental health further. The combination of all these conditions made it hard for her to manage her emotions and trust her husband.
“My jealousy has driven me to breaking point,” Debbi admitted. “Sometimes, I’ve thrown stuff across the room. I put Steve through a lot, but he’s stood by me through it all. I know he’s the man for me.”
Debbi’s jealousy wasn’t just about control; it was also tied to her own insecurities. As a result, she became hyper-aware of Steve’s online activity and even banned him from watching content with women in it. One night, an advertisement for a women’s razor came on TV, and Debbi felt a panic rise in her chest.
“I thought Steve was eyeing up the model,” she said, sharing how her jealousy even affected her response to advertisements.
But despite everything, Debbi and Steve tried to make it work. “Spending so much time on the Xbox has helped me get some control over my jealousy,” Debbi confessed. “My mind has been able to focus elsewhere rather than obsessing over what Steve’s doing.”
Debbi’s mental health struggles and extreme behavior have not gone unnoticed by the public. In 2015, she appeared in the Channel 5 documentary 87 Stone: Fat Chance of Work.
But Debbi later claimed that the documentary misrepresented her, focusing too much on her weight and not enough on her mental health struggles. The portrayal led to online abuse and threats, making Debbi feel even more isolated.
“Everything has been sensationalized,” Debbi explained. “I’ve had vile threats over social media, and just open abuse, preventing me from wanting to leave the house.”
Still, Debbi believes her actions are necessary for her peace of mind, even if they seem extreme to others. “I think lots of women out there must be suffering from the same condition and just not realize it,” she said. “I’m lucky my partner is so understanding—others might not be so fortunate.”
Steve, for his part, acknowledged how tough life with Debbi could be. But he insisted that she was worth it. “Sometimes, I get nervous, and the lie detector test results come back inconclusive because my heart is hammering, which makes Debbi doubt me,” he admitted.
“I just have to tell her I haven’t cheated and pray she believes me. I’m willing to put up with it because I know we’re soulmates. She’s so special to me, and a bit of jealousy here and there won’t change that.”
Despite their struggles, Debbi continues to fight for her own confidence. She hopes to get gastric band surgery to improve her health and her self-esteem. “I have a small frame, but it’s carrying an extra ten or eleven stone more than it should,” she explained.
“The surgery will help me feel better physically and emotionally, so I can enjoy life more fully with Steve.”
Debbi and Steve’s journey is a testament to the power of love, trust, and the difficult road that mental health struggles can create.
Even though their relationship is far from easy, they are both determined to make it work, supporting each other through the challenges that come their way.
