We all have to navigate our lives and take responsibility for our choices, right? But it’s human nature to want to help friends in need. So, what do you do when your friend keeps confiding in you about all their problems, over and over, without any sign of stopping?
This Reddit user found herself in that exact situation. Unsure if she was handling things correctly, she turned to the online community for advice.
“I (32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I chose to be a single mom and my kids are donor conceived. I’m lucky to have a good job as a French teacher at a private school, and I have a paid-off house thanks to my parents’ life insurance and inheritance.
Before having my kids, I made sure to save a year’s worth of living expenses. This allowed me to take a sabbatical to recover from birth and bond with my kids. During this time, I still tutor some kids for extra income.
My friend (34F) had a baby two months ago. She’s the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great being pregnant at the same time and having a friend with a newborn, but things have soured. She keeps saying how jealous she is of my ability to take a year off work, not worrying about losing my home, and having savings. I usually ignore or brush off her comments because I understand the stress she’s under.
About ten days ago, she started hinting that she couldn’t afford daycare. Any mention of her husband taking care of their baby is brushed off. She also remarked how much free time I must have, which I truthfully deflected by saying that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me with no free time.
Last night, she finally asked if I could ‘do her a favor’ and watch her baby while she’s at work. I was firm but polite, saying I couldn’t handle watching two kids under six months. She started begging, saying she couldn’t afford daycare and if she doesn’t go back to work, she’ll lose her job and they’ll end up homeless. I brought up her husband again, but she said he wasn’t good with kids and couldn’t take care of their baby.
I kept saying no, and she kept pushing until she called me heartless. I snapped and told her it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she’s blocked me, and I feel very guilty about what I said and like a total jerk.”
It’s a tough spot to be in. What would you do? Do you think she was right or wrong? Share your thoughts and let’s discuss!
