I’ve been married to my husband Paul for over three years. This is a second marriage for both of us, and we are quite happy because our relationship is mature, stable, and transparent. We’ve worked hard to build a strong bond based on mutual understanding and trust.
The Problem with Expectations
Everything seemed perfect until an issue with Paul’s expectations about his daughter, Ella, started causing trouble. Paul has an 8-year-old daughter from his previous marriage. From the beginning, he was open about having a child, and I was fine with it.
He has Ella every other weekend, and I never had a problem with that. I believe he should spend as much time with her as he wants, and I even join them in activities happily.
However, I made it clear to Paul that I’m not Ella’s parent—that’s his and his ex-wife’s role. I’ve always been kind to Ella, looking after her when needed, cooking for her, and playing with her when she wanted. But I refuse to parent her. If she did something wrong, it was not my place to ground or punish her. That’s a parent’s duty, and I am not her parent.
A Change in Living Situation
Ten months ago, Paul lost his job and couldn’t find a new one quickly enough, leading to his eviction from his apartment. He had kept the apartment even after our marriage, and we were fine with that arrangement.
I have my own house where I live, and Paul lived and worked from his apartment. But after losing his apartment, I invited him to move in with me.
I even set up a spare room as a bedroom for Ella, so she would have a comfortable place to stay when she visited. Everything was going smoothly until last week when Paul had a serious talk with me. He told me that his ex-wife suggested it would be better for Ella to live with us full-time, visiting her mother twice a month.
A Shocking Decision
I was furious. Without discussing it with me first, Paul had agreed to this arrangement and presented it to me as a done deal, saying, “Honey, please be happy! Our little girl will be with us full-time now.” I laughed, thinking he was joking, but unfortunately, he was serious.
I immediately told him I wasn’t okay with this at all. Although I don’t work from home, I never wanted kids, and Paul knew this from the beginning. My husband tried to guilt-trip me, saying it wasn’t fair for Ella to live in an apartment.
He just wanted to give her a better living situation. I reminded him that it’s my house, and I get to decide who lives here permanently, especially since he didn’t discuss it with me first.
The Fallout
Paul got angry, saying I emasculated him and demanded an apology. Instead, I brought his suitcase and told him to pack his things and move out. He threatened to file for divorce.
After Paul left, his ex-wife started bombarding my phone with calls and messages, calling me evil and accusing me of taking stability away from Ella. She called me a monster. I told her that providing stability for Ella is her responsibility, not mine. Despite feeling my decision was justified, I still feel guilty about Ella being caught in this situation.
What Should I Do?
I’m torn between feeling justified in my decision and feeling guilty for Ella’s sake. What should I do?
Share your thoughts in the comments down below!
2 thoughts on “I Don’t Want My Husband’s 8-Year-Old Daughter to Live in Our House, He Is Threatening Me With a Divorce”
Wow. You sound like a horrible person. You knew he had a daughter. He needs to man up and take his daughter and leave you. Kids know when someone doesn’t like them.
You made it clear from the beginning that you didn’t want children, you did not deceive him and she is not your child or responsibility. You are not a horrible person, you are an honest person. Don’t let him or anyone else guilt you.