Ever had a terrible flight because of annoying people sitting next to you? Let me tell you about the newlyweds who turned my 14-hour flight into a nightmare. They acted like the plane was their personal honeymoon suite, and when things got really out of hand, I decided to teach them a lesson about airplane manners they wouldn’t forget.
I’m Toby, 35 years old, and after hearing this, you might think twice about booking a long flight. Here’s the scene: I’m heading home after a long business trip, just counting the minutes until I can hug my wife and kid. Everything was going great—until they boarded.
I had splurged on a premium economy seat for this 14-hour flight. On a journey that long, every bit of extra space matters. I was feeling good about my decision as I settled in, when the guy next to me, Dave, introduced himself.
“Hey, I’m Dave,” he said. “Do you mind switching seats with my wife? We just got married, and, well, you know…”
I smiled and asked, “Congrats! Where’s your wife sitting?”
Dave pointed toward the back of the plane. “She’s in economy.”
I understood—they wanted to sit together since they were newlyweds. But I had paid a lot of money for this seat, and I wasn’t just going to give it up for free.
“Sorry, Dave,” I replied. “I paid extra for this seat, so I’d only be willing to switch if you cover the difference—about a thousand Australian dollars.”
Dave’s face changed. “A thousand bucks? You’ve got to be kidding.”
I shrugged and put in my earbuds. “That’s the deal.”
As I leaned back, I heard him mutter, “You’ll regret this.” And boy, was he right.
It started with the coughing—loud, chest-shaking coughs that made me wonder if I needed a mask. “You okay there, Dave?” I asked.
“Never better,” he replied, coughing even louder.
Next, he pulled out a tablet and started watching an action movie at full volume—no headphones. The couple sitting across the aisle gave him a look.
“Hey, buddy, could you turn that down?” they asked.
But Dave just smiled. “Forgot my headphones. Looks like we’ll all have to enjoy it together.”
I clenched my teeth. “Dave, seriously, turn it down.”
He looked at me with a smirk. “Oh, am I bothering you?”
Then came the pretzels. Somehow, Dave managed to scatter crumbs everywhere—mostly on me. “Oops,” he said with a grin. “Butterfingers.”
I was about to lose it when Dave’s wife, Lia, showed up, giggling as she walked down the aisle. Without asking, she sat right on his lap, and the two of them acted like they were in their own little world, whispering, giggling, and… well, you can imagine.
I tried to focus on my book, but it was impossible with all the noise. After an hour of this, I’d had enough.
“That’s it,” I muttered, waving down a flight attendant. If Dave and Lia wanted to make this a nightmare flight, I was going to return the favor.
The flight attendant came over, and as soon as she did, Dave and Lia turned on their sweet “newlywed act,” smiling like nothing was wrong.
“Is there a problem, sir?” she asked.
“Problem? Oh, where do I even start?” I said loudly, so other passengers could hear. “These two have turned the flight into their personal honeymoon suite.”
The flight attendant raised an eyebrow and looked at Lia, who was still sitting on Dave’s lap. “It’s against airline rules for an adult to sit on someone’s lap,” she said firmly. “Ma’am, you need to go back to your seat.”
Lia tried to play innocent. “But we’re newlyweds! It’s our special day!”
I couldn’t help but add, “Yeah, it’s been their ‘special day’ for more than an hour now.”
The flight attendant straightened up and spoke more sternly. “Ma’am, please return to your seat. And sir,” she turned to Dave, “you didn’t pay for this upgraded seat. If you can’t follow the rules, I’ll have to move both of you back to economy.”
Dave’s face went pale. “Both of us?”
“That’s right,” the flight attendant said. “You were upgraded as a courtesy, but you’ve abused that privilege. Now, please gather your things.”
As Dave and Lia started packing up, I overheard them whispering angrily at each other.
“This is your fault,” Lia hissed.
“My fault?” Dave muttered back. “You’re the one who—”
“Enough,” the flight attendant cut in. “Back to your seats, please.”
As they walked past me, their faces red with embarrassment, I couldn’t help but take one last jab. “Enjoy your honeymoon,” I said, giving them a little wave.
Dave shot me a glare that could have burned steel, but I didn’t care—I was too satisfied.
The flight attendant smiled at me as she passed by. “Anything else you need, sir?”
I grinned. “Just some peace and quiet—and maybe a drink?”
A little while later, she returned with a whiskey and cola, on the house. “Thanks for your patience,” she said with a wink.
An older man across the aisle gave me a thumbs-up. “Well played, son,” he chuckled. “Reminds me of my first marriage. We were young and dumb too—but at least we knew how to behave in public.”
I laughed, finally able to relax.
As the plane started descending, the captain made an announcement: “We’re approaching Los Angeles International Airport. Please fasten your seatbelts.”
I gathered my things, so ready to get off that plane. As I passed by Dave and Lia in the back, I couldn’t resist one last comment. “Hope you two learned something. Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon.”
Dave turned bright red but didn’t say a word.
I stepped off the plane feeling like I’d won a small victory. And when I saw my wife and kid waiting for me at the terminal, their faces lighting up as I walked toward them, all thoughts of Dave and Lia disappeared. I was home, and that’s all that mattered.